A Bug's Life: A Bug's Pranks
by Groudon202
Summary: Since they were 2nd Grade larvae, Francis, Slim and Heimlich have had a monthly pranking contest. This time, they let their newest friend, Flik, in. Dot wants to join, but isn't allowed under the pretext of "girls CANNOT pull pranks." When this doesn't suit well with other female insects, primarily Atta and Rosie, the stage is set for sophisticated attempts at gender domination!
1. Contest Setup

**A BUG'S PRANKS**

CHAPTER 1: CONTEST SETUP

In the anthill's underground tunnels (specifically the otherwise empty canteen), Slim found himself examining a small fluorescent mushroom poking out of a wall. He had to bend down in the tunnel to get a good look at said mushroom, but it really seemed to have captured his interest. He snapped it out of the wall, and lowered it to Aphie who was at his feet. The Queen's aphid barked and snatched it out of Slim's hand, jumping around frantically.

'I'm about to witness something really special,' he whispered, bending closer. Aphie bit off a section of the mushroom, letting the rest fall to the ground. He stood very still, with Slim watching intensely. Two nervous seconds passed...

'Slim – it's time!' yelled Francis suddenly, running right past the walking stick and out of sight in a mad hurry. Slim jumped upwards and, forgetting completely about the mushroom, sprinted in the opposite direction. Aphie squirmed in disappointment at the stick insect's departure. He turned around to chew on more of the mushroom, his rear end now glowing the bright turquoise of said mushroom.

In the morning sun's glow, on the outskirts of the main colony clearing, Heimlich stared down the gigantic beauty in front of him. He licked his lips, satisfied with his luck, moving steadily forward, his chubby red hands shaking...

'Heimlich – come on!' Slim whizzed past Heimlich in a hurry, huffing and puffing. The fat caterpillar, his attention now diverted from the big raspberry in front of him, leaped after Slim.

Further on, on the rock hanging off of Ant Island's edge, Flik was fiddling with a harvester machine, upgrading the straps so they could fit any ant. And then...

'Flik!' The blue ant turned around at these words, seeing Slim and Heimlich coming his way.

'Hey guys, what's u –'

He didn't have time to finish his sentence, as the two of them grabbed him, and instantly wheeled him forward in the direction of the anthill.

_One quick anthill trip later..._

Into a small, unused room (which was currently serving as the lounge for the circus bugs) came Slim, Heimlich, and a totally confused Flik.

'Guys, what's going on?' he questioned for the fifth time. They merely steered him into sitting on a small rock seat in front of a grass blade table, before sitting either side of him.

'Flik,' said Francis, 'we've had a monthly competition for several years now.'

'And this year...' added Slim, staring intently at Flik, who leaned backwards in minor hesitation.

'We want u in et too!' finished Heimlich. 'Four wel make dis more fun den three!' Flik glanced between the three of them, still a little uncertain.

'Okay...' he said slowly. 'What's the contest?' Francis leapt onto the table at this, startling Flik.

'Gentlebugs,' he began dramatically, 'it is time to find out who will be crowned the next Sir High King Lord of...'

In one quick move, he leapt down, reached under the table, and placed upon it a custom-made leaf crown, with splashes of yellow juice upon it and numerous plant jewels.

'Pranks,' concluded Francis, gesturing around the crown. The three bugs leaned in with excited faces and happy expressions, Flik's previous hesitation completely forgotten.

'All right!' said Flik, pointing a finger upwards for effect. 'I'm in!'

'As last month's victor,' continued Francis, 'I must now let all ye competitors challenge me for yonder crown!'

Heimlich sighed in happiness, staring at the crown. 'Et seems like just yesterday dat we made dat crown en art class!' Francis then brought up a bunched-together collection of leaf sheets and tossed it onto the table.

'The rules are simple,' said Slim to Flik, flinging the first page open, and reading from it. 'If ye is pranked, ye is out. The last bug to go unpranked becomes Lord High King, and wins the crown!' Everyone present stared longingly at the crown, feeling the tension in the air.

'And also,' said Dot out of nowhere, popping up beside Francis, 'I am playing.'

'Playing?' Heimlich reacted, his chubby face saying all. 'Dot, dis esn't a game!' Francis spoke up as soon as he was done.

'You're too young, and too girl!' Dot also reacted facially at this, except it was of an even bigger disbelief.

'And,' contributed Slim, pulling the book towards him, and holding the cover up, 'no girls shall play, so says Lord Prankertons' Book of Rules!' All that was on the cover was an illustration of Francis with cartoon muscles and a badly drawn mustache.

'You made that up in the 2nd grade!' whined Dot. 'And that,' she said, gesturing to the book, 'is an inaccurate representation of you, Francis!'

'Blasphemy!' yelled all three clown bugs, rapidly pointing at Dot.

'Dot,' said Flik, leaning forward, 'this competition could get very ugly. And if you get hurt, your mother will kill me!'

'This,' said Dot spitefully, 'is not over!' Without saying anything else, she buzzed her small wings and floated through the leaf doors of the room, her wing sounds fading away pretty quickly. Paying this little heed, Francis turned back to the others.

'Very well,' said Francis, clasping his hands together, 'each participant gets two hours to prepare, for the pranking commences at –'

He glances to the side, the others following his gaze. The huge discarded human wristwatch that took up most of the room read 10:03.

'Noon,' finished the ladybug.

He leapt over the table towards the door, with Flik also bolting upwards, and Heimlich leaping out of his seat. Slim, however, didn't make much effort to move at all, merely turning around.

'You know what,' said the stick insect, standing up, 'you guys go ahead. Gotta find my flower prop!'

Flik and Heimlich shrugged, and moved through the leaf door as fast as they could, Francis slamming it shut as they went off into other areas of the anthill. As soon as they were gone, Slim smirked.

'And by flower prop, I mean I will be Lord of the Pranks!' Whooping, Slim moved off into a different area of the room.

* * *

><p>In another room of the anthill, where P.T. and his crew were allowed to stay and keep their circus stuff, the circus fireflies, Blip and Flash, were relaxing on a leaf couch, reading two Bug City newspapers, and having a drop of Black Flag each. Suddenly, Ymri, the tarantula who was the circus musician, scuttled into the room.<p>

'The other guys are late,' he said simply to his fellow employees, 'and they're not in their room.'

'Oh,' said Blip simply without moving, 'that's cause we gave them the day off for pranking.'

'What?' Ymri did not look best pleased. 'We have got a ton of rehearsing to do!'

'Ymri,' said Flash, the both of them turning to face him, 'pranks are an important rite of passage.'

'They're a ritual for the young male,' said Blip.

'Really?' said Ymri, tilting his head in fake enthusiasm. 'I can't wait to not hear any more of this story.'

It took Blip and Flash two seconds to realize they'd been dissed.

'Fine,' Flash said sourly. 'Now, please be useful, and get us some sugar for our Black Flags!' Sighing silently, Ymri turned around to comply.

'Thank you,' added Blip sourly also, as Ymri approached the circus wagon a few centimeters away. The tarantula opened the back of the wagon –

Only for dozens and dozens of sugar fragments to spill out, totally engulfing him. Blip and Flash laughed silently as he struggled against the avalanche, but it finally knocked him over, burying him completely. To say the prankers were delighted at this would be an understatement.

'The sugar fragment pile-on!' the fireflies chuckled, standing up. 'A Blip-and-Flash classic!' They made a knuckle with a fist and punched them against each other.

Ymri stood up, covered in sugar all over. He shook his many limbs, the sugar falling off of him.

'You got pranked!' laughed the two fireflies. Ymri folded his front arms and glared. Clearly, he was not best pleased.

* * *

><p>'When the guys return at noon, they'll seek refreshment.' Back in their room, Slim was preparing a prank. On the table were three dew droplets of water, three straws. He pushed a leaf balloon into each of the droplets with a spare hand, fingering with a container of a yellow liquid with his fourth.<p>

'They'll see my free drinks, but what they don't know is that each drink is a hidden balloon filled with half a pound of Aphie's pee!' He poured a small bit of the yellow liquid into the droplet, where it sunk in quickly.

'Then, they'll pick up the sharpened straw, push it down into the drink and BOOM!' He imitated puncturing the drink, lowering the straw closer. 'The crown will be mine –'

The straw made contact with the droplet, which exploded instantly. Slim had no time to move before he was drenched in the stuff, particularly on his face and eyes. Clenching the stuff, he began yelling, wandering around hopelessly.

Gypsy sprang into the room, panic all over her face. But as soon as she saw the predicament Slim was in, she grew slightly irritated.

'Please tell me this isn't about that stupid crown you guys made in 2nd grade?' she asked in desperation.

'I can't see!' cringed Slim, his eyes throbbing with pain. 'I can't see! I can't see!' Gypsy sighed in frustration.

'Come on,' she moaned, taking Slim by the arm. 'I'll take you to Dr. Flora.

* * *

><p>Out onto the main root spiral below the anthill's exit came Francis, Heimlich and Slim. Francis was carrying several leaf cases of rotten food. Flik had a jar of pupa liquid and a leaf pillow. Heimlich, on the other hand, was in his bumblebee costume, along with his Little John sword and leaf hat.<p>

'A bee,' smiled Francis as they continued forward. 'Interesting...'

'De crown wel be mine!' whooped Heimlich –

'What's this about girls not being good at pranks?' Directly in front of them were Rosie and Princess Atta, both of which looked irritated, to say the least. Atta was the one who had spoken. Beside them was Dot, who grinned sheepishly at the guys.

'I never said that,' said Flik, shaking his arms, which Heimlich folded his arms. 'I just said it could get ugly and girls could get hurt.'

'So you're saying girls are not as tough as guys?' commented three light purple female ants, coming up behind Atta. They were the Ivys, three girls with the same name, attitude, and hobbies. Francis scoffed at their statement.

'Have you SEEN the bee standing next to me?' On cue, Heimlich whipped out his sword. 'This competition gets scary!' Heimlich pounced forward, swinging his sword in the air, and pointing his rear sting forward.

None of the girls flinched. Heimlich glanced, confused, at his fellow male bugs, who shrugged.

'Sounds to me,' said Rosie, 'like you guys are scared at getting your abdomens beat by a bunch of girls!' The ladybug, caterpillar and inventor ant all looked at each other, smiling in disbelief.

Rosie snapped her finger, and four more female ants came up behind her: Daisy and Reed, Dot's fellow blueberry scout members; Cora, Dr. Flora's sister and assistant, and latest circus acrobat; and Quick, former messenger of the Queen and also latest circus tumbler. The three guys' smiled faded instantly.

'Vhat?' Heimlich whipped off his leaf hat and stared forward. 'Ten against four? Yah, dat's fair!' The girls seemed a bit puzzled at this before –

Thorny and Manny jumped in behind Flik. Out of nowhere, Molt did a dive roll and landed beside Francis. And finally, a huge rhino beetle landed down from the sky with a thud behind the group, and two pill pugs rolled off his thorax, popping up with a "_Hey!_"

'We're in!' said all the new males. Heimlich and Flik instantly regained their confidence, while Francis counted how many they had.

'One two three four five six seven eight – hey, we're still one short!'

'I'm in too!' announced Bud, an old bully ant, coming in beside Flik. Just as the girls looked happy at having an even number, Flik and Bud looked at each other, and drew backwards.

'What? I don't like you,' he shrugged. 'But I will defend my gender!' On cue, he and Heimlich made an awesome knuckle touch.

'So be it!' announced Francis. 'As reigning Sir High King Lord of the Pranks –' he rested his spare hand on Tuck and Roll's shoulders '– I now declare this day Mega Prankatition!' Everyone cheered and whooped at this, particularly Dot, who was still eying Flik down.

Just then, a ring was heard. Everyone glanced to the anthill wall, where a big clock the ants had put into the wall a year ago now had both its big and little hand at twelve.

'Bug out!' cried Flik. Instantly, all the girls and guys split up and ran in different directions. But just as Molt and Dim flew into different tunnels, Thorny fell forward with Tuck and Roll straight onto the ground. Stopping dead in their tracks, Francis, Flik and Heimlich saw that Tuck's right antenna was wound around Thorny's left one with a strand of spider web, while the council ant's right antenna was tangled with Roll's other antenna and a string of spider web.

'_Hei brivyr ngyee!'_ Dot sprung up from the ground, clearly responsible for the prank.

'Antennas tied together,' smiled Dot. 'Classic!' The three remaining male bugs drew backwards, fear now vaguely visible in their faces.

'So, that's three dudes down,' commented Rosie, fingering her hand over the fallen males.

'And three to go,' said Atta creepily. They stared down the boys, who now looked scared, until –

'Boo!' they said. Francis jumped backwards and fled, followed by Flik and Heimlich, still carrying his leaf hat and sword.

_Another quick anthill trip later..._

They legged it into their now empty room and slammed the door shut apprehensively, still looking like they'd seen ghosts.

'Okay, new plan,' explained Flik in earnest. 'We lay off each other until we prank all the girls.'

'Yes, an alliance!' agreed Francis, throwing a punch at the air.

'So et's agreed!' said Heimlich. 'Ve eliminate de girls, den de othur guys, entil it's just de four of us!' The guys looked briefly happy, until their looked forward.

'Make that three.' Francis could see the remnants of Slim's backfired prank, which included the remaining water droplets, the yellow liquid, and the scattered fragments of the leaf balloon. 'Looks like Slim pranked himself again this month.'

'Yep,' said Flik and Heimlich simultaneously.

* * *

><p><strong>Some of the character names here were borrowed. Thanks to Neithersparky for permission to use the names for Ymri, Blip, Flash, Cora and Quick (all of which existed in the movie, but never spoke or were named), and to Imaginative Light for Bud.<strong>

**I really shouldn't be writing this, as I'm neglecting my Powerpuff Girl fanfic. But the idea plagued me a fortnight ago, and I just HAD to do it. This'll be short, only 4 chapters in total. Hope you liked it! I thought it would be appropriate to upload a fic about pranking on April Fool's Day! Please read and review.**

**P.S. This takes place after the events of Neithersparky's The Bug In Winter but before the Epilogue at the end of the movie. So it's, loosely, a in-the-movie fic.  
><strong>


	2. Battle Of The Genders

CHAPTER 2: BATTLE OF THE GENDERS

In Dr. Flora's medical chamber, she carefully peeled several brown leafs off of Slim's eyes, one by one, having performed the operation to sooth Aphie's pee out of them.

'There,' she said sweetly, peeling off the last leaf and tossing it aside. 'All better.'

'Slim blinked and opened his eyes, shaking the remaining pee off of him. Straining his pupils he saw Dr. Flora – but in gold!'

'Augh!' he yelped. 'Everything looks yellow!' Dr. Flora turned back to him.

'I studied for three years,' she stated. 'I can fix this!' She grabbed a damp pupa shell, flattened it out, and gently brushed it over his eyes, one by one. Now, Slim looked again – and saw her in bright emerald.

'Augh!' he yelped again. 'Now everything looks green!'

'Well, what color do you want?' she asked, trying not to look irritated.

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stick insect sarcastically, 'all of them!'

She sighed in frustration before quickly looking around. She placed her hands randomly on her desk, the floor, and even Slim, before she finally grabbed as many different food juiced as she could. Pouring a bit of each into the remnants of the pupa shell, she forced Slim to lie down, brushed the shell gently over his eyelids a few times, and finally discarded it.

'Ah, there we go, 'relaxed Slim, sitting up, as full color returned to his sight, 'that's better.'

'Okay,' said Dr. Flora, clasping Slim on the shoulder and smiling at him. This continued, uninterrupted, for a few seconds. 'Bye.'

Slim flinched a little visibly. He cast his mind around for words.

'Are you not going to give me something to soothe my itchy and irritated eyes?'

'Slim,' inquired Dr. Flora in a curious voice. 'Have you ever thought of becoming a doctor?' Slim paused a little at this, unsure of what to say. 'Because you look and talk... like a doctor.'

'Oh, he's always wanted to be a doctor,' commented Gypsy, buzzing through the open door, an old bug magazine clasped in her hand, having stayed in the waiting room for the last 20 minutes. Dr. Flora turned around and inquired her with interest.

'But more importantly,' continued Gypsy, 'did you know that a daily 20-minute flight increases weight loss, eyesight, wing strength, and mutant powers?' Both of the other insects in the room reacted slowly to this piece of news.

Just as Gypsy took another magazine from the rack and placed the first one back, into the medical chamber wandered Thorny, Tuck and Roll, still attached to each other by their antennas, with the two pill bugs being so short that they were balancing on the side of Thorny's head, who was not best pleased.

'_Bi brava eka_!' snapped Roll, slapping his hand at Tuck, but hitting Thorny's cheek by accident.

'_Eska vitcha yoka_!' snapped Tuck back, slapping his hand forward too, but also hitting Thorny on the face. Thorny gestured with his hands at Dr. Flora.

'A little help here...' he asked desperately.

'Don't worry,' replied the good doctor, 'I've got just the thing!' She reached to the side, while Slim smiled happily – and pulled out a sharpened real-size pencil. Thorny jumped backwards, knocking the pill bugs' heads against his own again, which caused him to wince, while Slim leapt to Dr. Flora's side.

'Whoa, whoa,' he said, pushing the pencil down where it wasn't pointing at anything. 'Just untie them, and give him some cream for his sore cheek.'

'Ok,' said Dr. Flora irritably, 'that'll work too!' The three new patients nodded slowly, still a bit fearful, before Tuck and Roll returned to fighting each other but hitting Thorny.

* * *

><p>'Ymri!' yelled Blip from a corner of their room behind the circus wagon, where he and his brother firefly were searching frantically for something. 'P.T. is coming to count his money! Where is the grass binder?'<p>

'Check under the front wheel,' said the wolf tarantula, peeking around the side of the wagon.

'Flash and Blip both moved to beside the wheel. They both reached under with a hand, and yelped in pain. Ymri, smiling divisively, strode over to the pair.

They stood up, a termite trap bound on a finger each of their hands. They tried to ignore it while they turned around.

'Well played,' commented Flash, as Ymri arrived in front of them.

'Let's end it now, while it's even,' suggested Blip.

'Agreed,' said Ymri simply. He put out a hand each, and shook both of the fireflies free hands simultaneously, all three glad that they were putting it behind them.

_10 minutes later..._

Completely covered in soot, Ymri collapsed onto the floor, where Blip and Flash were bound and gagged together with loose spider web. Most of the contents of the room were upturned or downright broken, while the fireflies struggled to free themselves, to no avail. In front of them was a very angry P.T. Flea.

'In my circus,' he began shortly, while Ymri looked defeated and the flies didn't give up struggling, 'we have a "No Pranking" policy.

'Mmmmhhh!' strained Blip and Flash, colliding with the wagon in their attempts to free themselves.

'I can't understand you two because your mouths are taped shut.' P.T. didn't find this situation very funny at all, and Ymri could tell. The two lighter bugs let out soft moans that could still be distinguished.

'That's why I'm going to stay and help you all stop your pranking ways.' The fireflies resumed their struggling upon this news, while Ymri threw his arms up into the air in obvious frustration.

_10 more minutes later..._

P.T. was sitting across from the three members of his crew, who were now sullen-faces and grumpy, all with folded arms.

'Because you've no respect for each other's jobs,' said the flea, 'I'm gonna recommend the Role Reversal method; the classic corporate exercise which teaches mutual respect.'

'So all we have to do all day,' said both Flash and Blip and the same time, 'is play tunes on several drums at the same time and assume a role in this circus as Vice President?'

'Oh yeah,' stammered Ymri, 'I do not even know what they do.'

'We do this!' The fireflies smacked him on the head from both sides. They instantly broke into a brawl, which P.T. broke.

'Active!' The boss' words stopped the fight. 'The Role Reversal is now active.' The flea leaned back against the wall and calmly gestured forward to the pair.

'Fine,' said the spider calmly.' He picked up the flies' butt cones, stuck it on his rear abdomen awkwardly, and turned to face them.

'Oh Ymri,' he over-mocked, 'P.T. wants his money now, and blah blah Blah BLAH –' The pair interrupted him by swiping his hat off his head. They both struggled for it, and ended up ripping it apart.

They paused for one second before placing a half of both of their heads.

'Blip and Flash!' they mocked towards Ymri. 'Go get the others. I've got work to do!' They all broke into a tongue spitting at each other, where the words "blah" and "stupid" could be distinguished.

'See,' smirked P.T., now happy. 'Isn't this better?' All three of the others froze instantly, and just stared at P.T., as if to say "what?"

* * *

><p>The Ivys crept forward into the main colony clearing which was empty save for a few ants. One of them had a small crate, another several rotten kernels, and the third a catapult from one of Flik's harvesting machines. They looked around nervously, keeping their guard up.<p>

'Fresh food!' They looked around to see a pretty female ant manning a stall with several small raspberry fragments on it. She gestured to them with her hands. 'Free fantastic samples?'

'Free samples!' cried the Ivys happily. Dropping their pranking materials, they jogged over to the stand. They rapidly took a sample each and chewed it, while the female ant looked on with a slightly suspicious smile.

Suddenly, the first Ivy dropped her happy look, as did the others. Looking at each other, they started making frantic noises while keeping their mouths closed, but still looked like they were trying to speak.

'Aww,' said a voice from somewhere. Francis and Heimlich suddenly popped up from behind the stall, drawing the attention of the Ivys. The ladybug tapped on a small piece of yellow squishy food while he spoke. 'Did someone accidentally add in a lot of sticky stuff?' The Ivys began trying to speak even more frantically.

'Yah, non toxic, ef course,' grinned an enthusiastic Heimlich (out of his bumblebee suit), which stopped the Ivys fretting. The blue female ant laughed slowly at them, pointing, and then stood up.

In what seemed to be slow motion, she put her hand on her face, pulled – and a blue mask came off in HIS hand, revealing it to be Flik. The Ivys instantly froze upon seeing who it was.

'Ve warned u des wuld get ugly!' The Ivys stomped in frustration, and walked away, still trying to speak frantically. Once they were out of earshot, the three male bugs whooped in joy, slapping as many hands together as they could.

Out of nowhere, an agitated Mr. Soil stepped in front of them. Upon seeing them, their states instantly turned to one of mild fear, as he was drenched in a droopy yellow liquid.

'Why,' he yelled at them, 'is the 2nd grade classroom covered in bee honey, and my abdomen covered in puke?' Indeed, his rear end did have remains of an ant's vomit on it.

'We have no idea, Mr. Soil, sir,' said Flik slowly, waving his hands down. The three of them tried to look innocent.

'Bye!' said the tough ladybug, turning and flying towards the Clover Forest, with the other two leaping and running.

'I know you're up to something!' he yelled after them as they vanished from sight.

The Ivys, meanwhile, were making their way down the inside root spiral of the anthill, still straining to speak, before –

'Ha!' The grasshopper which now worked in the circus did jumped out in front of them, having a bug's version of a banjo slung around his neck.

'You got pranked!' Molt sang in an annoying voice, swiping the strings repeatedly, which were off-key. 'You got pranked!' By this point, the Ivys were staring at him angrily. 'You got P, R, A, N, K –'

* * *

><p>Molt's banjo was split on his hand, the orthopteran a bit dizzy in the head, while he sat on the seat in the medical chamber.<p>

'I can solve this problem,' Dr. Flora said curiously, Slim still beside her. She reached out a hand to the end of the banjo, placed the snapped string back into position, afterwards swiping her hand across the strings, which now resonated on-key.

'Perfectly tuned!' she stated. Molt smiled and got up towards the door. While the doctor looked happy, Slim was less so, watching as Molt banged his banjo-holding head against the door.

'Uh,' said the pessimistic stick insect slowly, 'don't you think we should unwind the strings and remove the banjo from his thorax?'

'Slim, you have a gift.' She rested her hand gently on the shoulder of his lower arm, as she couldn't reach any taller then there. 'How would you like to stay and be my assistant?'

'But I... haven't have any health training,' he stammered, as Molt finally made his way through the door by turning sideways.

'Don't worry about that, honey,' said Dr. Flora sweetly. 'None of the accidents around here are too serious. And I'll help you if anything goes wrong!'

Slim smiled a little nervously, before edging his way out through the door, where Gypsy was still reading magazines.

'Hey Gypsy, do you mind staying a while?'

'Are you kidding?' responded the moth, slamming her hands down on the two piles of magazines beside her that were as tall as she was now. 'I am in magazine heaven! I just learned how to give my antennas a facial!' Truth be told, her antennas did have white cream spread over them. Slim shrugged in approval, while she redirected her attention to reading her magazine again. The stick insect looked around briefly, before going back into Dr. Flora's medical chamber.

* * *

><p>'The berry-apult,' stated Dot. In the anthill corridor directly outside the clown trio's room, Dot and Atta placed a small (big to them) raspberry berry on a bug catapult which was definitely made from twigs of one of Flik's harvester machines, while Rosie leaned upwards from the ground.<p>

'The guys get off the root spiral to rush into their room for shelter...' continued Dot.

'They'll trip on the web,' continued Atta, pointing to the third strand stretched above the ground behind Rosie, 'and get a face full of splattered defeat.'

Chuckling, the two royal ants slapped a hand together, while Rosie casually swiped a hand over the trap. 'Boys are stupid,' chuckled the black widow spider.

Yet just down the other end of the corridor, around the corner, Flik was pressed tightly against the wall, with Heimlich and Francis waiting behind him. And they had heard every word.

'The berry-apult?' remarked Flik almost in disgust to his comrades. 'That is stupid.'

'Brilliant!' said Francis.

'I know!' said Flik back.

'Ok,' spluttered Heimlich. 'Vut now, we tern de tables on dem! And den de prankers become de prankees!' All three of them made a knuckle touch with each other before sprinting the other way. They would definitely prove the pranking was too dangerous for girls!

Back where the three girls were, the trap was now ready, as Rosie finished tightening the rope so it would work without question.

'Now,' said Dot confidently, 'all we have to do is hide, and watch the show.' But just as they were about to turn around to hide –

'Boo!' cried out the male ant, ladybug and caterpillar, leaping out directly behind the female hymenopterans. They whipped around in shock, while Rosie stumbled backwards, and accidentally bumped against the wire.

The red berry was instantly flung forward, and hit Rosie straight in the face. Her whole thorax and most of her arms were now splattered in deep red.

'Oh yeah!' cheered Francis, clubbing Heimlich on his shoulder. 'Deep freeze!'

'Waaahhh!' cried Rosie, as some of the raspberry liquid dripped to the ground. All five of them watched as she turned around and ran away and out of sight, wailing. Once she was gone, Atta and Dot turned around to the other three, slightly pissed off.

'Hey,' grinned Heimlich in defense, along with the other while the other two also looked sheepish, 've told u dat pranking was dangerous!'

'Well,' retorted Atta, gesturing where Rosie had vanished, 'does your Lord Prankerton say you're not allowed to make sure that someone is okay?'

'No, he does,' sighed Francis unhappily. 'It's called the Slim Amendment.'

'Let's go,' said Flik in equal frustration, the three of them moving off.

_One quick Ant Island scouting later..._

In only a small amount of time, the three of them found Rosie in the island's Clover Forest. She was sitting on the ground, wailing into her hands.

'Rosie,' sighed Flik, the three of them looking at her. 'You okay?'

Rosie continued what she was doing for about two seconds before she suddenly looked up, now laughing with a cheeky smile.

'She's stopped crying,' said Francis in alarm, the three of them stepping back as the spider stood up, grinning despite the berry juice that still covered her body.

'It was my idea to sacrifice one of us, so we could take out all of you,' she explained, just as Atta and Dot came up beside her. Both were holding a spare raspberry berry, and Dot also had the clown's trio prank book.

The three boys looked left – Quick leapt out from behind a clover stem with a berry in hand also. Reed sprang up from behind a small rock with two small berries. Daisy leapt down from a clover above with one in hand. And finally, Cora did a dive-roll into the area, carrying a particularly big berry above her.

'Yep,' said Heimlich nervously.

'We're doomed,' squealed Flik, Francis and Heimlich simultaneously.

* * *

><p><strong>A lot of thought went into the pacing of these scenes to make it feel more like a TV episode. Did it work well?<strong>


	3. Duel Of The Prankers

CHAPTER 3: DUEL OF THE PRANKERS

Heimlich and Flik drew backwards in terror as the four female ants spread around them, cutting off all methods of escape. Quick smirked with her red berry, while Daisy and Reed, who were only a little bigger then Dot but just as strong as any adult ant, drew closer.

'They look so cute when all hope is lost,' remarked Atta as Dot passed Rosie the prank book to hold.

'Ready,' commanded Dot, all six female ants bracing themselves, while the three guys looked even more scared. 'Aim –'

'Guys,' interrupted a slow peaceful voice, as Ymri came up to Francis and Heimlich, while made all the girls freeze in confusion, while the ladybug and caterpillar regarded the tarantula with vague interest.

'I am Blip and Flash today,' he said simply. 'Long story. So, let us go to P.T.'s room – now.'

'Araneaen shield!' cried Flik, Francis and Heimlich. Just as Atta and Dot flung their berries at the three guys, they pushed Ymri in front of them, and so he got drenched in chunky red food, yelling out in a voice he usually didn't use.

They wheeled him around just in time to use him as cover for Quick's berry tossing, which splattered all over Ymri's thorax. And finally, the spider found himself pushed to take Daisy's big berry, which got his whole body and barley missed the other three ducking behind him. They finally moved to the side and stood up behind him, for the circus musician was barely able to stand.

'Hey,' smiled Francis, patting Ymri on his shoulder, which was the only part of his front not covered in berry remnants, 'thank Blip and Flash for the day off for pranking, won't you, Ymri?'

'I am Blip and Flash,' he moaned before he collapsed on the ground. The three guys looked up at the girls, waved sheepishly, before they turned and legged it out of sight.

'So close,' whined Atta and Dot. Cora threw her berry down onto the ground in anger, while the other four sighed, just as the guys vanished into the grass stalks.

They heard a sound from behind, and turned to see Manny dragging his circus props through the clearing, but he froze upon seeing the seven girls in front of him.

'Well,' said Dot, buzzing above the other's heads, 'maybe it's not a total loss.' Manny didn't have any time to move as Reed, still having two small berries in hand stepped forward and –

* * *

><p>'All my psychic vibrations can see is berries,' moaned Manny dramatically, having somehow found him way to Dr. Flora's medical chamber, his body having suffered the same fate as Ymri.<p>

'I can fix this,' said Dr. Flora in thought, Slim watching beside her. 'But you may feel a small pinch.' She instantly pulled out the circus pencil and advanced on Manny, who drew back, only for Slim to stop her again.

'Okay,' he said pessimistically, taking it from her hands and placing it down to the side, 'no sharp pencil.' Manny still looked a little frightened, but kept looking.

'Slim,' said Dr. Flora irritably, 'P.T. sold me that thing two days ago, and I'd like to use it!' The stick insect looked around the room, before snatching a quill from a plant.

'Here,' he said, handing it to Manny, who took it. 'Just, clean your eyes with that, and stand in the sun's glow for a half-hour to dry yourself, OK?'

'Thank you,' said Manny happily. He happily jumped down and bounced his way out of the room.

'Slim,' said Dr. Flora as soon as Manny was gone, 'I'm writing you a prescription.' She quickly scribbled down something on a tiny leaf. '100 cc's of You Need To Focus On Becoming A Doctor – now!' She roughly handed him the note. He scan-read it before looking up again.

'But I'm kinda in a circus,' he mumbled.

'Being a doctor is just like being in a circus,' she assured him. 'There are loads of insects; hot girls! But instead of audience reception, you're holding life, and death, in your hands. Think about it...' Slim stared at the note, thinking hard.

'Ok, that's enough thinking.' He snapped his attention upwards again. 'Bring in the next patient!' Slim moved past her out of the room, as she looked on in happy pride.

* * *

><p>Reed, Daisy, Cora and Quick, armed with possible pranking equipment, all crept slowly around one of the rings of the main root spiral, moving past an entrance into an anthill corridor. But as soon as they were out of sight, Flik Francis and Heimlich peeked around, and Flik did a head-count of them.<p>

'Okay,' he whispered to the other two, who listened intently. 'According to my calculations, there are six girls and five guys left; us, Bud, and Dim.'

'Ah,' shrugged Francis, 'he can fly real fast. 'They'll never get him –'

Right on cue, the rhino beetle in question fell down at a fast speed past where they were, yelling in pain. Two seconds later, they heard a loud thump from the bottom of the anthill.

Looking over the edge, the three of them saw that Dim had crashed into a giant mushroom sticking out of a lower section of the root spiral, and his shell was splattered by what appeared to be more of Aphie's pee.

'Okay,' said Flik timidly, 'it's just us and Bud.' They all yelped and ducked back into the tunnel, pinning themselves against the wall.

'I'm freaking out!' whimpered Heimlich. 'Dese girls are way tu powerfel!'

'We gotta split up!' interrupted Flik into the larva lepidopteran's words. 'We are too big of a target together.' Francis and Heimlich nodded in approval. 'After we take out the girls, I look forward to our manly battle together. Good luck!' All three of them raised a finger to just above their upper lip, and held it like a fake mustache.

'Knights of prankdom – move out!' concluded Francis. Flik leapt out into the main part of the anthill, while the other two leapt the other way, finding themselves beside a door to a supply closer with rarely-used tools in it.

'Or,' added Francis slyfully to his clown companion, 'we let Flik prank all the girls himself, while we lay low, and stay unpranked.'

'Dat'd just what I wes thenking,' smiled Heimlich. He bolted for the door handle, pulled it open, and squeezed his gelatinous figure into the room, Francis sneaking in behind him and shutting the door. Inside the black room, Heimlich reached for a fluorescent mushroom, which was usually kept under a crate.

'You forgot one thing,' said a voice. Just as Heimlich pulled out the mushroom, and subsequently lighting up the room, he recoiled backwards upon seeing that Francis was armed with another of Flik's inventions, this one a hot-pepper flinger.

'I take you out now and battle Flik later,' smirked the ladybug, while Heimlich glanced nervously left and right. 'Cause you just fell right into my poker trap!' He laughed briefly, keeping the stick up high.

'U mean,' countered Heimlich, grabbing a rope hanging behind him, 'u just fel right ento my rupe snare!' Francis' confidence vanished, and he looked down to see he was standing in a rope secured loosely around his feet.

'Touché, old friend,' he remarked, looking up again. He wasn't going to let himself go out without a fight.

'Right back at ya, buddy,' replied Heimlich. Francis made to shoot, but Heimlich tightened his grip on the rope. They kept reading themselves, not taking their eyes off each other.

* * *

><p>Around the outer edge of Ant Island, Bud crept silently sideways, having two bug versions of whopper cushions in his hand.<p>

Just as he backed near several thick grass stalks, a pair of hymenopteran hands suddenly reached out of them and yanked him in. Freeing himself once he was inside, he found himself face-to-face with a very angry Mr. Soil.

'What's going on here?' demanded the tall council ant. 'I want answers now.'

'I'm not telling you,' retorted Bud, coolly, keeping his swagger up. I'm bound by Lord Prankertons' Code of Silence.'

Mr. Soil sighed in frustration at this. He changed tactic fast. 'I'll give you a priority seat for all elementary school plays.'

'It was Flik, Francis and Heimlich!' he said instantly, which Mr. Soil had not being expecting at all. 'They organized a prank war and forced us all into it. And we'll keep pranking until only one is left.'

Mr. Soil stood still for about one second before he suddenly pushed Bud backwards, onto a small rock – and a loud, fart-like sound was heard from under his abdomen.

Bud sat there in total shock, turning his head slowly down to his abdomen, while Mr. Soil silently smirked. Bud's spare hand reached underneath his butt and slowly pulled out a makeshift whopper cushion, identical to the two he had in his other hand.

'You pranked me,' he said in slow disbelief, looking up at the ant standing above him and then back down at the prank responsible for his defeat. 'I'm out...'

'Nobody messes up my 2nd Grade classroom,' he said in an authority tone, 'and nobody messes with me.' He snatched all three whopper cushions from Bud's grasp, and then whipped around and marched off, determined to extract revenge.

* * *

><p>'Dun,' hummed Blip and Flash slowly, softly banging one of Ymri drumsticks off of a drum. His instrument set was placed on top of the circus wagon, with the two fireflies sitting in the middle of it, trying to get to grips with how it worked.<p>

'Dun, dun, duun –' Ymri appeared at the end of the wagon, still covered in some now-dry berry juice, while also carrying two toxic-looking drop of a black liquid. The two fireflies instantly looked over at him.

'Yes,' shrugged the spider, 'so the guys are not available today.'

'See how hard our job is?' spat Flash, making the bigger bug recoil ever so slightly.

'Unlike yours,' said Blip viciously, jamming a few random notes on the drum. 'Which. Is. So. Easy.' Ymri looked slightly disgusted.

'Where are our Black Flags?' Ymri held out the two drops of the liquid, which the fireflies simultaneously swiped, and then looked at.

'This is the worst Black Flag ever!' snorted both of the fireflies at the same time. They dropped them off the wagon onto the rocky anthill ground, and then mocked Ymri with a pose, making a face and gesturing out with their arms.

'Yes, it is.' Ymri turned around to see P.T. Flea hopping onto the wagon, with a small Black Flag in hand. He carelessly also let it fall onto the room floor.

'But now,' he stated, turning back to the both of them, 'it's music time.' Now it was Blip and Flash's turn to recoil.

'Yes,' countered Ymri slyfully, turning back to his fellow crew members. 'Let us hear your rocking piece of music, which you say is so easy to perform.' He had lightly mocked them mocking him in that. Both of the fireflies turned back around to the instruments. Blip readied himself by the drums while Flash put his mouth on the horn made out of a plastic straw.

They started playing, the sounds coming out of the instruments on cue. They were incredibly off-key, random, and otherwise lacking in quality. Ymri didn't move, but he did draw backwards slightly. P.T., on the other hand, found himself clasping his hands over his head in an attempt to block out the horrible music. The fireflies either didn't seem to be aware of their reactions, or were paying it no heed.

Flash finally blew one loud resonating note into the straw, which echoed out, as Blip smashed the sticks onto the drums with such force that they flew out of his hand, off the wagon. Ymri, for the first time in the circus, laughed really loud, which caused his boss to look back up again, and his fellow employees to look at him again.

'That is, the worst music, I have ever heard, on those instruments, in my life!' As he continued laughing in disgust, the two fireflies stood up, faced him directly – and they punched him hard in the gut. As he groaned, he fell sideways, off the wagon and onto the anthill floor, just like the Black Flags and the drum sticks.

'And you can't punch back,' commented Flash down, 'because there's two of us!'

'No there isn't,' grunted Ymri deeply, standing up. With amazing speed, he scurried up the side of the wagon, and faced them again. 'You're just Ymri.'

'Right,' said Blip nervously, swiping his pupils towards his companion, who looked equally scared. They hesitated for a split second before –

'Aah!' yelled Blip, pointing behind Ymri and P.T. 'Hopper!' They both whizzed around, at which the two fireflies leapt off the wagon and ran for it.

They looked around again, but both of them then looked puzzled upon seeing they the fireflies were gone.

'Hopper!' hissed Ymri, realizing what they'd done.

* * *

><p><strong>Whew! So much going on at once, and all so fast! It's wrapping up, though. Only one more chapter to go, and then this tv episode-like fic will be completed.<strong>

**I enjoyed the scenes with Ymri, Blip and Flash the most, even if they weren't the main focus. Which part are you enjoying most - Flik, Francis and Heimlich's pranking battle, Slim's doctor training, or the Role Reversal Method attempt with the circus crew?**


	4. And The Winner Is

CHAPTER IV: AND THE WINNER IS...

Reed and Daisy, again in an anthill tunnel just off of the main root spiral, were just approaching one of the tunnel pathways, armed with a blue berry when – they bounced off of something invincible, and stumbled backwards onto the ground, their own prank falling all over them, along with a mysterious thin something.

'Ha!' laughed Flik, jumping out in front of them, smirking while holding a wad of transparent plastic-like material in front of them, which they had clearly bounced off of. The two friends of Dot sat up; looking shocked, while brushing the blue juice off of themselves.

_Only a bit later... _Cora and Quick made their way into yet another one of Flik's new inventions, this one a makeshift elevator. They were both carrying cases of something. The doors shut on them, as they too smirked –

A scream was heard by Flik as he waited by the upper door to the elevator. He smirked in delight as the doors opened and the two newly-made circus acrobats came out, now completely covered in thick, soup-like honey. Like Daisy and Reed before them, they just stared, open-mouthed, at the grinning inventor ant in front of them. They resembled yellow monster blobs.

'Four down,' said Flik smugly, holding up a pair of fingers from his right hand, 'two to go.' The girls moved off down a tunnel to the left, leaving Flik even cheerier then he had been before, until –

'Looking for me?' Flik whipped around, coming face-to-face with none other than Princess Atta. She had the Prank book clasped under one arm, and a makeshift water gun with three droplets loaded inside in her other.

'If the prank battle last beyond 6pm,' said Flik slowly in comical fear, while Atta raised the clown trio's book to shoulder height.

'Anything capable of directly applying mess, slop or pain counts as a prank.' She smugly let the book fall to the ground, and then aimed the water gun, which Flik recognized as one of his own – he made a mental note, in the future, to put more protection on his items then a "Do Not Touch" sign – directly at his thorax.

'The Heimlich clause,' said Flik quietly, almost as if he was reminiscing. 'Francis said he refused to skip dinner to play.'

'And you have been caught empty-handed,' responded Atta, keeping her weapon's end balanced against her shoulder.

'What can I say?' said Flik in what would have been a tone of resignation, if he wasn't smirking so badly. He raised his hands up in defence, which fooled Atta. On instinct, he then leaped up, grabbed onto something on the ceiling out of Atta's range of vision, and landed back down, now with a squirt gun identical to the one in Atta's hand. Atta blinked in surprise, while Flik readied his weapon in a similar pose to the one she was still in.

'It's rotten water,' hissed Flik, clenching one eye shut so he could aim directly.

'Me too.' Following this statement, Atta lowered her antennas to the front of the nozzle, and vibrated them, smelling out the water, and then she recoiled slightly. 'It's kinda grossing me out...'

'Francis warned you this battle would get nasty,' said Flik quietly. They both had their guns ready, waiting for the other hymenopteran to make the move first, when –

The pulley elevator wheeled up directly behind Flik and, almost in slow motion, Mr. Soil stepped out of it, a container of larvae yogurt in one hand and a small stick in the other, with a leaf bandanna wound around the top of his head. Flik slowly turned around in horror as Mr. Soil scooped up some of the yogurt on the end of the stick, and made to fling it.

'No!' moaned Flik, dropping his gun and leaning down on instinct, leaving a panicked Atta in the range of fire. Mr. Soil didn't have time to stop himself, and he wouldn't have anyway, as the yogurt flew off the stick and hit the front of Atta's grass tiara. She was knocked backwards onto the ground, the tiara falling off her head and the gun out of her hands.

'If the only way of ending this prank war is by pranking all of you out,' said Mr. Soil, twirling his small stick, 'then so be it!' Flik stood up again, mild horror still plastered upon his face.

'What's the matter, Flik?' The tall council ant held up the stick and the container again. 'Looks like you're in... a mess!' He whipped another scoop of yogurt and tossed it straight at Flik, who leaned as far as he could to the left, the slop barley missing his right arm, instead hitting the anthill wall. Flik quickly leaned back the way he had just come, as another shot whizzed past his rear abdomen. Finally, he ducked at exactly the same moment that a third shot came from Mr. Soil pranking equipment, this one just missing his sinking antennas.

Mr. Soil shook the end of the stick frantically around the inside of the container, but pulling it out, there was nothing on the end of the stick. Flik stood up at that point again. They started at each other for about one second before –

'Darn it!' Dropping the container and stick, Mr. Soil sprinted as fast as he could off an adjacent corridor. As soon as he was gone, Flik whipped around and bent down frantically.

'Atta!' He pulled Atta up with one hand, and she clasped his other one.

'Is it...' The last word seemed to tremble on her lips. '...bad?' Flik took one quick look at his feet and then snapped his head upwards again.

'It's gonna leave a nasty stain.' Atta groaned in response and stood up with Flik, scooping up her yogurt-splattered tiara. Looking at it in her hand, she groaned again.

'If I don't see to this now, I'll never get it out.' Flik shrugged in agreement. 'Good luck.' She clasped his hand briefly and then gave him a shoulder pat before she took flight, flying around the corner and out of sight. Once he was alone, Flik wrenched up the two water guns at his feet. Holding them much like a cowboy would hold dual pistols, as in, pointing them straight at the ceiling, he turned tail and ran past the remains of Mr. Soil's failed pranking attempt. Only one more female to go...

* * *

><p>Both Cora and Quick held their arms out by their side, honey drooping onto the floor of the medicine chamber. Right in front of them, Dr. Flora sprang up, holding the sharp pencil. Both Slim and the two girls flinched as she moved forward with it.<p>

'Whoa, okay,' said Slim frantically, pushing the pencil down out of harm's way, 'enough with the pencil!'

'Slim,' she said in a slightly irritated voice, letting the pencil roll to the side. 'I paid a lot for that, and P.T.'s scabby, so, I can't return it.'

'Well, the honey's soaking into their skin,' he replied, noting that they looked just two yellow blobs. Putting this aside, he addressed them directly. 'A big leaf to wipe all that off, and a jog to walk off the dampness should do the trick.'

'Thanks Slim,' they both replied simultaneously. Smiling, he gestured them out the exit, which they proceeded through, leaving a trail of honey behind them. Alone with Dr. Flora, he then found himself pouring his heart out.

'This was, like, the best day of my life.' The stick insect struggled to find words to describe what he wanted to say. 'I helped people... feel better.'

'Slim,' responded Dr. Flora, motioning for him to bend down so she could make proper eye contact, 'I've got a proposition for you. I know this would be asking a lot... but would you like to help out here permanently?' Slim stalled at these words.

'But, um... what about the circus?'

'You'll have to quit the circus,' she said sadly. 'But what's more important to you?' This –' she did a brief clown dance, consisting of a one-legged hop with a cocky smile plastered on her face, which made Slim chuckle '– or this?' She gestured to the room at large, making Slim look around and see all the items in it. The bed for sick insects, the bowl of kernels for patients, the plant quill, all the herb and remedies... Slim was visually struggling to make up him mind as he stood up again.

* * *

><p>Heimlich silently sniffled in exhaustion, his grip on the rope slipping. Francis also stifled a quiet yawn, his eyelids almost drooping closed from tiredness. Noticing this, Heimlich leaned sideways towards the shelf of items.<p>

'Whoa,' countered Francis, holding up the food flinger and pointing it at Heimlich's upper abdomen, making him stop dead in his tracks. 'Not so fast...'

Heimlich scoffed slightly. 'I'm jest gonna reach fur a napkin so I can wipe mir face!' Relaxing slightly, Francis shook his poker, allowing his caterpillar friend to go ahead. Relaxing, Heimlich reached forward with his lower left hand – and promptly kicked the glowing mushroom back under the shelf, plunging the room back into darkness. Loads of loud noises were heard from within – various kicks and punches, boxes getting knocked over. Two ants walking by outside the closet looked around in confusion at the noise as they passed.

Finally, Francis pushed the mushroom back into the centre of the room, lighting it up again, but both of them glanced at each other, and then at the prank they were holding. Somehow, Heimlich was now standing in the rope end, but he was holding the poker, while Francis was now in charge of the rope snare. Getting over this, they both braced themselves.

'The crown will be mine –' But at exactly the same moment they were both going to act, the ceiling hatch was flung open, and Dot, hovering in the air tunnel, promptly squeezed two cans, splattering creamy white spaghetti-like goo onto both of the guys. They recoiled in disgust, Francis letting go of the rope, while the goo drenched their head and thorax joints. Finally, Dot finished and tossed the two cans aside.

'Sorry guys,' she shrugged, as the two of them looked up at her hovering above them, 'but that crown will be mine!' Noticing something interesting, she looked back down again.

'Hey, can I borrow that poker?' Shrugging in disgust, Heimlich tossed it up to her.

'Take et!' The royal kid ant promptly caught it perfectly.

'Good luck,' said Francis bitterly.

'Thanks!' She turned tail and buzzed back up the tiny air tunnel. Once she had disappeared, both the ladybug and caterpillar proceeded to grab the string-like goo and get it off of themselves in forced anger.

* * *

><p><em>Back at P.T.'s room...<em>

Ymri stumbled forward a few paces, his movement somewhat hindered not by the few bits of dry berry juice left on his face, but by the fact that both Blip and Flash were clinging onto his back with their arms slung around his thorax. They were yelling as loudly as two fireflies and one wolf tarantula could yell, which was rather loud for insects. Their words, however, were completely drowned out by Ymri banging off of the walls due to his currently-sideways sense of balance. Rebounding off the side of the circus wagon, he rotated on the spot, trying desperately to shake off the two fireflies, until –

'Ha, ha ha Ha HA HAAAA,' laughed P.T. slowly, giving them a look of delight while he held the last Black Flag they had. The noises ceased, and the three of them turned to face P.T.

'Why are you laughing?' said all three of them.

'Oh, because there's no such thing as the Role Reversal Method. I made it up.' All three members of the crew did a double-take, not believing what their antennas had heard. 'You got pranked!'

Blip and Flash slowly got off of Ymri on either side and all three of them faced P.T. in disbelief. 'Do you mean to say,' said Ymri slowly, 'that none of this was real?'

'Oh, it was real,' remarked P.T. 'Real funny!' He slapped his own knee in delight while his companions looked at each other and then back at their boss. 'But I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere.

'Now, on to more important matters.' He raised the black drop of liquid he was still holding. 'Where do you guys keep the sugar?'

At exactly the same moment, Blip and Flash snapped a finger and pointed it at Ymri who said, in the most monotone voice, 'In the wagon.' P.T. nodded in agreement. Turning around, he hopped over to the wagon, placed his Black Flag on the ground, and leaped up to the flap. He wrenched it down –

Only for, in a case of déjà vu, loads of sugar fragments to pour out suddenly right onto the flea. As he was knocked backwards onto the ground, the two fireflies made a knuckle touch both with each other and with Ymri at the same time, resulting in brief tangling of limbs but happy expressions for all three.

The pile of sugar fragments easily buried P.T. completely. Ymri smirked in delight before he suddenly jerked his two front arms upwards with a snap, hitting the other two clear on the head and knocking them to the ground, as he scuttled off.

* * *

><p>'Well,' commented Dr. Flora happily, going out into the corridor leading into the medical chamber with Slim, who had to duck down to fit through, 'looks like all our patients have retreated.' The waiting room was stark empty, but had loads of bug magazines scattered around.<p>

'And I made home-made ice berries!' commented a happy Gypsy, dancing into view, with two small red, frozen berry parts in hand, and a magazine clasped under her shoulder. 'I got the recipe from my magazine.' She held both ice berries out, and they took them gladly.

'Remember what I said, Slim,' said Dr. Flora gleefully, looking him straight in the eye. 'I'm here when you join our side.' She took a small bite out of the ice berry and finally retreated back into her chamber, leaving Slim alone with Gypsy. Slim sighed in minor frustration, looking down at his ice berry in thought, being very quiet.

'You ok?' Gypsy seemed rather concerned about him. He looked up at her, and there was a certain sadness in his eyes.

'I had... a great time today helping insects.' Gypsy nodded in complete agreement as Slim paced around to her other side, still talking. 'But I also have a great time performing, so, what do I do? Do I stay with the circus, or... do I stay here and be a doctor?'

'You know what, fellow clown?' said Gypsy, gently pushing him down to her height (this was a frequent occurrence with pretty much everyone who talked to Slim one-to-one) so she could tell him properly. 'That's what great about being a bug. 'She rested a spare hand on his lower shoulder, which was also a result of his height difference with everyone. 'None of our choices are ever permanent.'

'Thanks Gypsy,' said Slim sweetly, regarding her with much appreciation. 'You always know just what to say.' They pulled each other into a playful hug. Gypsy darted her eyes around to rest of the magazine she was still holding.

'I do now,' she whispered to herself, reading the title of the magazine in her head. Translated from bug words into English, it read "How to Talk to Males."

* * *

><p>Flik sprinted frantically out of the anthill, looking around with his two water guns held high. His gaze fell, though, when he saw, over near the base of the trunk, sitting on the ground, Tuck and Roll, who weren't even saying any gibberish, Molt, who had his broken banjo beside him, Dim, who was still a bit dizzy, Manny, Thorny, Bud, Rosie, Francis and Heimlich, who were still peeling the white goo off of themselves. Flik walked over to them in confusion.<p>

'Who got you?'

'Who do you think?' they both said. All nine of the bugs pointed directly to the right with a hand (or in Dim's case with a leg) to the side. Flik looked over too just as Dot came around the corner.

'Still think I can't handle ye day of pranks, Flik?' She had Francis' poker ready, and she also had two red juice stripes on her face, much like tiger marks. By now many other ants were watching what was happening.

'I will admit,' said Flik, stepping forward, 'that you have fought gallantry today.' Dot nodded in happiness. 'But this battle's not over.' They both readied their weapons –

'Yes it is!' Mr. Soil sprang up from behind a tall rock that only his upper thorax was visible over. Everyone jumped backward upon his arrival. 'Because if either if you makes another mess,' he said, while Flik and Dot kept their weapons ready, blinking in confusion, 'I will pull off the ultimate prank.'

Without warning he pulled up a reasonably big yellow sign with the words "Out Of Order" on it. 'I will close the extra food rooms for two... weeks!' No one seemed more shocked at this then Heimlich, who slowly licked his lips, his belly rumbling from hunger, since he hadn't eaten since noon.

'The war is over,' said Mr. Soil in a finishing voice, while both Flik and Dot let their weapons fall by their side. 'Put down your weapons, and once again, I win, and you are all losers!' He laughed in victory, while the pranked bugs accepted this. However, Flik raised an eyebrow at Dot, who nodded briefly back. Flik finally turned to Heimlich and Francis for approval. They both waited a second before nodding also. With Mr. Soil just finishing his chuckling, they both looked back at each other, smiled, and –

They pointed their weapons directly at the council ant and fired instantly. Two drops of rotten water were squirted out of the water guns and impacted Mr. Soil, drenching him much like water balloons, while Dot catapulted a pepper, which singed a fragment of Mr. Soil skin, where it hit him. He brought his arms up in defense while they both shot more at him. Tuck and Roll broke into hysterics at this, while the other laughed, particularly the defeated Francis and Heimlich. Just as they fired for a third time, the prance gave up trying to defend himself and ran off towards the anthill, vanishing down the hole.

Finishing with their weapons, Dot blew the smoke off her weapon in succession. Flik turned back to the others, while Dot walked up to her side, the bugs still cheering.

'Weit, weit, weit!' Heimlich cut into the celebrations just as Dot bumped Flik leg, smiling at him. Having gained attention, Heimlich addressed a critical issue.

'Who wins?' Flik thought for a moment before he smiled at Dot, who regarded him with equal emotion. All the bugs looked between each other, shrugging in confusion, even though Flik knew the answer.

* * *

><p>The prank crown was place upon Flik's head, his antennas wobbling through it. Atta lowered her arms back down to normal level again. Smiling, she then picked up a second, recently made prank crown and placed it on top of Dot's head. All the guys were in a line on Flik's side, with all the girls in a line on the other side.<p>

'A tie,' said Rosie, watching what had just happened. 'Nice!'

Both Flik and Dot turned to each other. They bowed their heads low and held a finger above their lips, further imitating Lord Prankerton. Standing up straight, everyone else started clapping. Dot buzzed down beside the other girls, slapping hands with them as she went. Flik meanwhile, did the same as he passed by Francis, Slim and Heimlich, who was back in his bumblebee suit with the sword and leaf hat.

'We'll get them next month,' said both Francis and Slim, for Heimlich was too busy making gestures with his sword to notice. But just as Flik passed by Thorny, who was again in the middle of a Tuck & Roll slap fight, he stopped dead, as did Dot. Right in front of them was the door to the extra food rooms, with the big "Out Of Order" sign right in front of them.

'It was worth it,' said Dot happily.

'Yep,' said Flik. As the clapping continued, Heimlich made a battle cry, and leaped into the center, making many bugs jump out of his sword's radius. But they responded by whipping out more cans of the white goo, and squirting it primarily at the opposite gender. The two ant victors clapped in approval as playful pranking continued.

Even though the circus bugs would be leaving soon... this had been one of the best days of Flik's life. A day purely of run was rather rare for a bug!

* * *

><p><strong>Voila! It's finally completed.<strong>

**I'm really sorry that this fic has to end here and now. It's been a real slice. Thanks to all the people who reviewed this tv episode-like fanfic! I've still got a load of ideas for our favorite bugs, though, so keep an eye out. I also put in a few things to make it feel more American, even though I'm Irish. Could you easily tell it wasn't written by an American?**

**Groudon202 Hopper out.**


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